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Post by Arch Stanton on Jul 20, 2019 10:11:39 GMT
Today's DM is all about celebrity chefs and the ones you cannot stand. These days it seems no matter what channel you try to surf to, you just cannot escape these endless cooking competitions or shows pretending to be about cooking when they aren't. In fact I can't remember the last time I watched a cookery programme that actually taught me how to cook something. It's not about the food these days, it's all about who you are and how big a 'personality' you are.. But some of those celebrity chefs get right up your nose, don't they? Some right arrogant great British toss offs, make no mistake. Some of these might have talent in abundance as chefs but with personalities about as appealing as last week's road kill. So this DM asks: Who Are The Biggest Tossers Out Of These UK Celebrity Chefs. Which ones really rattle your pans? It's a 3 course meal, so get picking 3 choices. As suggested by: Arch & Ace. |
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Post by ace5150 on Jul 20, 2019 10:22:56 GMT
That's brightened my weekend up!
I'll post more soon!
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Post by Arch Stanton on Jul 20, 2019 10:29:40 GMT
Paul Hollywood's a Class A bell end he really is. What a proper tuss that bloke is.
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Post by ace5150 on Jul 20, 2019 12:13:42 GMT
Okay, I'm a bit of a specialist with these people, and if anyone is unsure without Google, a quick look at the form guide, so let's go from the top:
Marco Pierre White - fantastic body of work, seriously knows his stuff! Proper chef, working 15 hr days was normal to him. Established a genre of cuisine that was years ahead of its time. Unfortunately, his expensive divorces and poor financial advice means he is reduced to flogging Knorr stock cubes on TV, and a stint in Hells Kitchen, bizarrely wearing a tea towel on his head. Overall, NO tosser Mary Berry - Sweet, inoffensive TV chef. No issues with Mary, but she couldn't hack it in a mainstream kitchen being so nice. Overall, NO tosser....unless she's making pancakes! Gordon Ramsay - A protege of Marco, again, a fantastic chef who's volcanic temper was TV gold. However, sold out to ponce about on TV slagging off small restaurants and acting a bully. His desire to be a celebrity hanging out with the Beckham's and the Clooneys is disappointing. Overall, NO tosser! Delia Smith - See Mary Berry. Rick Stein - Seems to think he single handedly salvaged Padstow. Has an enormous sense of self-importance and his TV programmes are cr*p. Really cr*p! Borderline Tosser! Worth a vote. Nigella Lawson - the Charlie snorting buxom cook with the sultry voice, NO tosser, but NO chef either! You can insert your own Benny Hill type comment about tossing elsewhere! Paul Hollywood - A genuine w@nker. Full of himsrlf, commissioned a calendar of himself, NOT in a kitchen, making bread, but riding Peter Fonda style on a Harley Davidson! Tries to be a vicious Simon Cowell type when judging contestants pastry! You can unashamedly vote him as a TOSSER! If I could vote for him three times, I would! Nadiya Hussain - bang average cook, however, ticked ALL the diversity boxes when she appeared and won in Great British Bake Off. Far better contestants in that show looked miffed they'd been mugged off. Not her fault, but she decided she liked the spotlight and brought out books and appears in lightweight cookery shows. Strictly Division 2 skill set. Candidate for a TOSSER! Heston - The mad scientist chef with dog sick flavoured candy floss and the like. Another of Marcos students. Gifted and ambitious, a real risk taker who got it spectacularly right. BUT, he's not moved on from that early promise. However, found out when he tried to revive the Little Chef chain. Out of his depth when confronted to upgrade a British fry-up! Overall, NO tosser Sophie Dahl - When your surname resembles Nepaese lentils, you've got to be good. No, she's not. Gary Rhodes - No issues with Gal, very good chef indeed. No nonsense fayre, but I can see why his Sid Vicious haircut on his TV shows annoyed. But, again, for me, NO tosser! Hugh Double-Barrell - Talks a good game, passionate about his work and CAN do the business. However, his patronising approach and his high-and-mighty delivery makes him a contender as a TOSSER Ace5150 - Feel free to vote this one. A TOSSER in anyone's book!  Jamie Oliver - The pub cook who hit the jackpot with his mockney cheeky chappie act. I genuinely believe he DOES care about your kids school dinners, but the Bob Geldof way, i.e. CONSTANTLY ramming it down your throats is very boring. He overlooks key elements with contractors costings and financial restrictions etc, the same way he overlooked his own finances before his Jamie Oliver Kitchens crashed last month. Yes, contender for a TOSSER James Martin - The Yorkshireman who loves Yorkshire so much he moved to Hampshire. A total n0b who thinks he's great. I wrote to Saturday Morning Kitchen asking why he used a blue board (raw fish) to chop salad, and why he never washed his hands between jobs, risking cross contamination. No reply (of course) GENUINE candidate as a TOSSER! Gregg Wallace & John Torrode - Torrode IS good, very good indeed. Knows his stuff. Constantly held back by the bald barrow boy. When I see them, it reminds me of an organ grinder and his monkey. Torrode? NO, Wallace? YES Anthony Worrel Thompson - Like an episode of "where are they now?" AWT has been absent for years, since getting caught robbing cheese from Tesco! Decent chef for the early years of Cookery shows on TV, another who blew his finances (and reputation) on dodgy investment restaurants. Borderline Tosser Ainsley Harriott - The jovial cook who again, hit the jackpot with early cookery shows! Actually, I have no issue with Ainsley, despite his annoying habit of squeezing women closer to him on Ready, Steady, Cook! Other - A few glaring omissions that include; Jean Christoph Novelli and his poncy over pronounced French accent to set housewives heart racing. Two Fat Ladies ( Jennifer Patterson and Clarissa Dickson - Wright) and their revolting habit of wearing nail varnish and rings preparing food, a BIG NO! Nigel Salter, the writer who fancies himself as a chef. Ken Hom who stir fries EVERYTHING, try asking him to make a Sunday roast! I know there's 2 foreigners here, but Torrode is an Aussie, and they're far more famous in our TV screens than their own country! Oh, finally, if ANYONE vote Keith Floyd, they DON'T know chefs! |
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Post by Arch Stanton on Jul 20, 2019 14:39:32 GMT
Yes a good low down on these Chef types. I voted Rick - an absolute tuss, who according to his son on one of his TV shows: ‘You own a town in Cornwall, don’t you dad?’. Errr, I don’t think so. The last time I went to Padstow about 9 years ago, he owned a fish and chip shop. One of my favourite bits of TV featuring Rick was when as a young chef he appeared on one of Keith Floyd’s cookery programmes. Keith, who was probably drunk, goes on to cut Rick Stein short every two minutes and getting the cameraman to focus on the food and not Rick. He then proceeds to call him Nick throughout the segment. ‘Nick’ did not look happy but instead of simply correcting Keith, just fumed silently to one side  Probably wears sandals. I voted Hugh - another middle class little know it all that thinks everyone was born with an organic spoon in their mouth. I’m fed up of this little toff trying to save the world and tell me what I should and should not be doing/eating/hunting/fishing etc etc. If I want you opinion Hugh I’ll f****** beat it out of you, you little prig Almost certainly wears some ‘right on’ hemp sandals and a world peace friendship band. Finally Paul - Absolutely full of himself, arrogant tw*t. Thinks he’s god’s gift. What a ******* w*****. Everything about him is well gay. His chrome hair, orange tan, stupid little beard etc etc He’s the sort of bloke that in 10years time when no one remembers him is likely to get into an argument with someone on minimum wage, in a shop/cafe somewhere, who really couldn’t care less, and then exclaim - ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ Definitely wears flip flops, I’d bet. If I’d had a 4th choice I would have voted for Ace, obviously. |
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Post by ace5150 on Jul 20, 2019 16:56:16 GMT
The Hairy Bikers, Dave and Si, decent cooks and decent TV show. Believe it or not, NEITHER are trained, they share a love of cooking and are passionate in their approach. I like these two, even if the Geordie accent from Dave is a notch down from Jimmy Nail, who is also hard to understand!
Good set of lads!
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Post by ace5150 on Jul 20, 2019 16:59:27 GMT
Yes a good low down on these Chef types. I voted Rick - an absolute tuss, who according to his son on one of his TV shows: ‘You own a town in Cornwall, don’t you dad?’. Errr, I don’t think so. The last time I went to Padstow about 9 years ago, he owned a fish and chip shop. One of my favourite bits of TV featuring Rick was when as a young chef he appeared on one of Keith Floyd’s cookery programmes. Keith, who was probably drunk, goes on to cut Rick Stein short every two minutes and getting the cameraman to focus on the food and not Rick. He then proceeds to call him Nick throughout the segment. ‘Nick’ did not look happy but instead of simply correcting Keith, just fumed silently to one side Probably wears sandals. I voted Hugh - another middle class little know it all that thinks everyone was born with an organic spoon in their mouth. I’m fed up of this little toff trying to save the world and tell me what I should and should not be doing/eating/hunting/fishing etc etc. If I want you opinion Hugh I’ll f****** beat it out of you, you little prig Almost certainly wears some ‘right on’ hemp sandals and a world peace friendship band. Finally Paul - Absolutely full of himself, arrogant tw*t. Thinks he’s god’s gift. What a ******* w*****. Everything about him is well gay. His chrome hair, orange tan, stupid little beard etc etc He’s the sort of bloke that in 10years time when no one remembers him is likely to get into an argument with someone on minimum wage, in a shop/cafe somewhere, who really couldn’t care less, and then exclaim - ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ Definitely wears flip flops, I’d bet.
If I’d had a 4th choice I would have voted for Ace, obviously. Makes sense, I'd have voted for myself as well......you're lucky, I have to work with the ****! |
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Post by jno on Jul 21, 2019 13:59:09 GMT
Language!
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Post by Arch Stanton on Jul 21, 2019 15:11:44 GMT
I sorted it. It’s all starred out. It could be any 4 letter swear word now. The Death Match Overlord does it again. Protector of virtue, upholder of the bad language conduct rules, maintainer of family values. What a guy. |
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Post by ace5150 on Jul 21, 2019 16:37:07 GMT
You've obviously never worked in a kitchen jno.  |
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Post by jno on Jul 21, 2019 20:56:29 GMT
You've obviously never worked in a kitchen jno. ...only as gopher skivvy for Mrs jno. |
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Post by thecraftyleek on Jul 22, 2019 10:04:12 GMT
Why are John Torrode and Greg Wallace grouped together? I wanted to give Greg Wallace three votes!
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Post by Arch Stanton on Jul 22, 2019 12:03:36 GMT
Why are John Torrode and Greg Wallace grouped together? For my amusement. Greg Wallace isn’t a chef but he is a tosser, so the only way he was allowed to participate on here was if he came on with Torode. Count yourself lucky I didn’t pair Rustie Lee with Knick Knowles. |
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Post by chopper on Jul 22, 2019 19:47:38 GMT
90% agree ACE - I voted James (Tosser) Martin, Prick Stein, & Poor Hollywood.
As you say - if Keith Floyd was on this list , I’d have been mortified.
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Post by chopper on Jul 22, 2019 19:55:22 GMT
Brilliant Arch! Even though I don’t agree on Hugh, although I can understand why people find home annoying. He went from shooting every bird out of the sky, to campaigning for plastic use. He’s a bit woolly.......
I would love to chin that James Martin one, annoying prat.
As for Rick Stein, don’t get me started on the annoying Padstownian,....
Paul Hollywood makes the 3rd vote, he thinks he is a celebrity chef just because he baked a bit of bread!
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Post by jno on Jul 24, 2019 5:26:23 GMT
Why are John Torrode and Greg Wallace grouped together? I wanted to give Greg Wallace three votes! Totally agree - I'd even have hacked the poll and given Wallace 4 votes for being such a pl0nker. What I can't stand about him is, it doesn't take 10 seconds and the whole topic has to turn into him and what he thinks. He'd be better off talking shyte professionally and buying himself a London cab. The only thing is, he talks so much shyte he'd never reach his destination. That and flogging a bag of apples are all he's good for. Plonker - and to think your TV licence finds this! |
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Post by jno on Jul 29, 2019 5:46:25 GMT
As Wallace is 110% annoying, I might write to the Beeb to get them to produce this as an official 'Inside The Factory' t-shirt merchandise item:  |
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Post by daz on Jul 29, 2019 11:31:11 GMT
I picked my 3 of Ramsay, Martin and Oliver, the real horrible side of 'Celebrity' Chefs. Would have picked Hollywood, but he is a Baker so for me I couldn't include him as is no chef same applies to Wallace.
I would have liked to have seen Dick Nairn in the list and his Irish pal Paul Rankine, two guys who I switch off when I see on the TV, Nairn would turn up at the opening of a bag of crisps if he thought he could get his mug on the TV, despite being an 'entrepreneur' nowadays. I'll never forget watching Nairn on something on TV one day and complaining it was hard for him to cook stuff now as he saw himself as an entrepreneur and not a chef, which if the case why would you agree to go on the Telly? His cook schools up here in Scotland failed and someone gave him a right hander in Aberdeen City centre a couple of years ago as he found him annoying on TV, which I know I shouldn't but I still find that line of defence funny.
Nobody has ever to come close to the Keith Floyd shows for me, although I do like a bit of Nigella and I know she is not a cook, but it is not about the food with her and I know I should know better.
Ace, your form guide on the list of Chefs was superb, one of the best things I have ever read on the forum.
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Post by thecraftyleek on Jul 29, 2019 16:10:11 GMT
I picked my 3 of Ramsay, Martin and Oliver, the real horrible side of 'Celebrity' Chefs. Would have picked Hollywood, but he is a Baker so for me I couldn't include him as is no chef same applies to Wallace. I would have liked to have seen Dick Nairn in the list and his Irish pal Paul Rankine, two guys who I switch off when I see on the TV, Nairn would turn up at the opening of a bag of crisps if he thought he could get his mug on the TV, despite being an 'entrepreneur' nowadays. I'll never forget watching Nairn on something on TV one day and complaining it was hard for him to cook stuff now as he saw himself as an entrepreneur and not a chef, which if the case why would you agree to go on the Telly? His cook schools up here in Scotland failed and someone gave him a right hander in Aberdeen City centre a couple of years ago as he found him annoying on TV, which I know I shouldn't but I still find that line of defence funny. Nobody has ever to come close to the Keith Floyd shows for me, although I do like a bit of Nigella and I know she is not a cook, but it is not about the food with her and I know I should know better. Ace, your form guide on the list of Chefs was superb, one of the best things I have ever read on the forum. As a Northern Ireland resident, I have to agree about Paul Rankin. Once upon a time, he had a great reputation here, but his star has somewhat diminished in recent years. I always thought Rankin was overrated as a chef. And his restaurants here in Belfast and Antrim Junction One have now closed. While this might be partially due to economic downturn, if his eateries were worth going to, people would have supported them. Interestingly, I saw him once at Belfast City Airport before we boarded a flight to Heathrow. He was eating a packet of sandwiches from the cafe. Perhaps I’m being unfair to the guy, but it’s not exactly something I expected to see from someone who’d been on Ready, Steady, Cook and would talk ad infinitum about haute cuisine. |
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Post by Arch Stanton on Jul 29, 2019 17:18:54 GMT
I picked my 3 of Ramsay, Martin and Oliver, the real horrible side of 'Celebrity' Chefs. Would have picked Hollywood, but he is a Baker so for me I couldn't include him as is no chef same applies to Wallace. I would have liked to have seen Dick Nairn in the list and his Irish pal Paul Rankine, two guys who I switch off when I see on the TV, Nairn would turn up at the opening of a bag of crisps if he thought he could get his mug on the TV, despite being an 'entrepreneur' nowadays. I'll never forget watching Nairn on something on TV one day and complaining it was hard for him to cook stuff now as he saw himself as an entrepreneur and not a chef, which if the case why would you agree to go on the Telly? His cook schools up here in Scotland failed and someone gave him a right hander in Aberdeen City centre a couple of years ago as he found him annoying on TV, which I know I shouldn't but I still find that line of defence funny. Nobody has ever to come close to the Keith Floyd shows for me, although I do like a bit of Nigella and I know she is not a cook, but it is not about the food with her and I know I should know better. Ace, your form guide on the list of Chefs was superb, one of the best things I have ever read on the forum. As a Northern Ireland resident, I have to agree about Paul Rankin. Once upon a time, he had a great reputation here, but his star has somewhat diminished in recent years. I always thought Rankin was overrated as a chef. And his restaurants here in Belfast and Antrim Junction One have now closed. While this might be partially due to economic downturn, if his eateries were worth going to, people would have supported them. Interestingly, I saw him once at Belfast City Airport before we boarded a flight to Heathrow. He was eating a packet of sandwiches from the cafe. Perhaps I’m being unfair to the guy, but it’s not exactly something I expected to see from someone who’d been on Ready, Steady, Cook and would talk ad infinitum about haute cuisine. They might have been extremely good sandwiches you snob. |
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Post by ace5150 on Jul 29, 2019 18:28:56 GMT
I picked my 3 of Ramsay, Martin and Oliver, the real horrible side of 'Celebrity' Chefs. Would have picked Hollywood, but he is a Baker so for me I couldn't include him as is no chef same applies to Wallace. I would have liked to have seen Dick Nairn in the list and his Irish pal Paul Rankine, two guys who I switch off when I see on the TV, Nairn would turn up at the opening of a bag of crisps if he thought he could get his mug on the TV, despite being an 'entrepreneur' nowadays. I'll never forget watching Nairn on something on TV one day and complaining it was hard for him to cook stuff now as he saw himself as an entrepreneur and not a chef, which if the case why would you agree to go on the Telly? His cook schools up here in Scotland failed and someone gave him a right hander in Aberdeen City centre a couple of years ago as he found him annoying on TV, which I know I shouldn't but I still find that line of defence funny. Nobody has ever to come close to the Keith Floyd shows for me, although I do like a bit of Nigella and I know she is not a cook, but it is not about the food with her and I know I should know better. Ace, your form guide on the list of Chefs was superb, one of the best things I have ever read on the forum. Rankines Canadian wife was well fit. I think she's binned him though. |
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Post by thecraftyleek on Jul 30, 2019 3:11:28 GMT
As a Northern Ireland resident, I have to agree about Paul Rankin. Once upon a time, he had a great reputation here, but his star has somewhat diminished in recent years. I always thought Rankin was overrated as a chef. And his restaurants here in Belfast and Antrim Junction One have now closed. While this might be partially due to economic downturn, if his eateries were worth going to, people would have supported them. Interestingly, I saw him once at Belfast City Airport before we boarded a flight to Heathrow. He was eating a packet of sandwiches from the cafe. Perhaps I’m being unfair to the guy, but it’s not exactly something I expected to see from someone who’d been on Ready, Steady, Cook and would talk ad infinitum about haute cuisine. They might have been extremely good sandwiches you snob. They may well have been a superb Cheese and Pickle Arch, no doubt a staple diet at Stanton Towers. ‘We’ll ‘ave none urr that Prawn Mayonnaise mullarky rownd these parts ta very mooch.’ |
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Post by Arch Stanton on Jul 30, 2019 5:57:33 GMT
They might have been extremely good sandwiches you snob. They may well have been a superb Cheese and Pickle Arch, no doubt a staple diet at Stanton Towers. ‘We’ll ‘ave none urr that Prawn Mayonnaise mullarky rownd these parts ta very mooch.’ Eyup are Leeky, Ahh dunt ate cheese n pickle butties lad. Just suthners on toast like, fuh me brekfast. |
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Post by fordcapri on Jul 30, 2019 14:31:55 GMT
I don't watch cookery programmes.
However... even I will admit to having had the misfortune of seeing some of the prize tossers listed above from time to time (usually by accident). From my memories of their various TV shows or from newspapers or magazines, etc, I have selected my three. To be honest, most of them deserve the vote. Bring back the Galloping Gourmet.
P.S. I voted Hollywood, Worrel-Thompson and Harriott - mainly cos they all seem like the sort of people you'd not want to find yourself sitting next to in a motorway cafe. Had I had a 4th vote, it would have gone to that Greg character.
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Post by ace5150 on Aug 3, 2019 7:54:20 GMT
Reports saying Paul Hollywood dumped by his girlfriend after he tried to get her to sign a gagging clause!
#Tosser!
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Post by fordcapri on Aug 3, 2019 14:04:24 GMT
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Post by barrythebook on Aug 4, 2019 19:30:52 GMT
I voted Hollywood and Stein.
Hollywood just seems more interested in his personal profile than the food he's judging/cooking but I've no idea how talented he actually is.
Rick Stein has never impressed me as a Chef.
With the exception of simple sauces, he only ever seems to cook individual ingredients and arrange them on a plate. He doesn't seem to create a complicated dish from scratch.
He's made an extremely decent living out of it all though through the people who flock to his outlets and are happy to pay silly money for what they get. I'm sure that some of them actually think Rick is in the kitchen cooking.
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Post by Arch Stanton on Aug 5, 2019 0:22:14 GMT
I voted Hollywood and Stein. Hollywood just seems more interested in his personal profile than the food he's judging/cooking but I've no idea how talented he actually is. Rick Stein has never impressed me as a Chef. With the exception of simple sauces, he only ever seems to cook individual ingredients and arrange them on a plate. He doesn't seem to create a complicated dish from scratch. He's made an extremely decent living out of it all though through the people who flock to his outlets and are happy to pay silly money for what they get. I'm sure that some of them actually think Rick is in the kitchen cooking. If I were Cornish I’d find much to be insulted by Rick Stein. I think he’s exactly the sort of individual you wouldn’t want in your county. |
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Post by fordcapri on Aug 5, 2019 10:44:07 GMT
Ho ho!!! What a complete and utter prize tosser he is... www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/paul-hollywood-brands-ex-lover-18830656Frankly, they are both as bad as each other. He dumped his wife for a tart young enough to be his daughter and enjoyed showing her off to anyone and everyone with eyes in their head. And she was obviously painfully aware of her station in life and sought to turn herself into a (very minor) celebrity by courting and indulging the whims of a silly old white haired fool who loves himself. Glad to see that the inevitable has happened and that now his ex-wife can just sit back and have a good laugh. A well-deserved outcome for all concerned, me thinks. |
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Post by jno on Aug 5, 2019 10:56:08 GMT
Who remembers this Jamie Oliver porcelain?  ...because food and drink clearly taste better when you consume it using this crockery! |
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